the Ballad of Fucking Larry and the Hill Part 3

[go back and read the first two if you skipped them...its a trilogy!!!]

Now we’d spent the day prior watching car after car

Get winched off that hill before getting too far

The cost to purchase the tow man’s winchin’

Was to grease his palm with a nice crisp Benjamin

So, it wasn’t without a bit of fear and trepidation

That we started our journey up that hill of damnation

Heading up, FL screaming at the top of his lungs, go, go, go

We are all leaning forward thinking it would help him, you know?

The tires are sending rocks plunging over the edge never more to be seen

Three of us are fairly certain we are going over into the ravine

Halfway up we bottomed out

That’s when we hear FL bellow and shout

“Out, out, out, all of you get out!’’

Not one to argue with a man clearly insane

We all scramble out onto the pock-marked dirt lane

FL sticks out his head and says, with a drawl

“Get behind this damn buggy and push Y’all”

He shoves it in low gear, you can hear the wheels whine

The three of us pushing and stumbling behind

While up at the top wielding a flat head screwdriver

Standing guard like a sentry is the tow truck driver

Then with a jerk, the bug jumped free

There was a crowd down below that we didn’t see

They were cheering and clapping and shouting with glee

FL drove all the way to the top shrieking like a banshee

We trudged behind hoping he’d wait

He was known for being forgetful of late

But he stopped at the top and took a bow

We caught up and piled in the bug in a disheveled state

Still in awe of FL’s magical Baja Buggy know how

As we drove away, we saw the tow truck driver

Standing there like a half crazed MacGuyver

His face all scrunched up in a nasty scowl

FL saluted the man who was glaring nastily at the scene

You know the kind of salute I mean

Then we all roar off in a cloud of dust as FL releases a mighty howl

“I’m F**king Larry and I never, f**king ever throws in the f**king towel”

Morals: 

Be prepared

Look before you leap

A stitch in time

Don’t go off half cocked

Or

Carpe Diem

Then again, maybe this is best:

“THINK ABOUT COMING BACK UP THIS HILL

BEFORE YOU GO DOWN”

Whatever your “HILL” is – give it some thought and above all else, never give up – and don’t throw in the f**king towel.